Saturday, November 20, 2010

Buoyant about birthdays

weekend today November 20 - 21, 2010, column, Page T3 (The Fairer Text)
From http://imcms2.mediacorp.sg/CMSFileserver/documents/006/PDF/20101120/2011COW003.pdf
Source Website: http://www.todayonline.com/Columns/Thefairertext/EDC101120-0000024/Buoyant-about-birthdays
By Georgina Chang, georginac@mediacorp.com.sg, 05:55 AM Nov 20, 2010


PHOTO: I'm getting older. Hooray!
A man with grey streaks looks distinguished, successful and attractive.
A woman with grey streaks is viewed as old, tired and, if unmarried, an old maid. If you have successful friends (oh, how we secretly hate them), then you're stung by feelings of inadequacy and fleeting moments of self-doubt. http://imcms2.mediacorp.sg/cmsfileserver/showimageCC.aspx?450&360&f=2140&img=2140_310515.jpg&h=450&w=360
weekend today November 20 - 21, 2010, column, Page T3 (The Fairer Text)


I LOVE birthdays, especially the merry-making with friends, chocolate birthday cake and birthday presents. The thought of aging has never crossed my mind.



PHOTO: Georgina Chang
weekend today November 20 - 21, 2010, Page T3, Column (The Fairer Text)
The writer is the senior creative director of 987FM and Lush 99.5.


At my milestone age of 21, I felt like I was immortal and ready to conquer the world. The next big occasion was turning 30, and I felt like I was invincible. This week, I'm crossing the next major milestone and I feel enlightened. I have been looking forward to this all year and have planned a birthday month of celebrations.



PHOTO: Buoyant birthday
http://www.mnn.com/sites/default/files/primary_17.jpg
http://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/wilderness-resources/stories/helium-crisis-spreads-around-the-world


However, many of my peers have already had that birthday - and I'm sensing a sombre (dark and gloomy ) mood.

Getting older is never perceived as a good thing for women. Our valued traits of youth, soft skin, fertility and beauty are supposed to diminish. A man with grey streaks looks distinguished, successful and attractive. A woman with grey streaks is viewed as old, tired and, if unmarried, an old maid. It's an unfair world.



PHOTO: In real life some people because of their dissatisfaction with physical appearance and make all kinds of irrational and even bizarre behavior. Psychologists believe that this is a relatively rare disease - "Body stature disorders."
http://www.flagsell.com/Image/20100315170442319 http://www.flagsell.com/category/pregnant-women/page/3/


In fact, to my mild horror, some of my friends who still look young have taken to calling themselves "aunties". I'm baffled why anyone would willingly age themselves. One moaned about receiving CPF eldershield forms in the mail. Another likened it to crossing over to the dark side (which I thought was hilarious).

Another challenge of birthdays for women are the inevitable comparisons. The moment we're born, the theories of developmental psychology ascertain our progress. Are you walking by age one, talking by two, solving puzzles by three, and discovering the cure for cancer by the grand old age of four?

Originally formulated for infants and children, it's now been expanded to cover the entire life span.



PHOTO: Happy Birthday!!
http://twilight-review.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/vg-happy-birthday.jpg
http://twilight-review.com/november-birthdays/

As an achievement-oriented society, Singaporeans instinctively practise this. Apparently, you must own a car by the time you hit 25, get married by 28, make your first million by 30, and have children by 32. That last bit puts extra pressure on women.

Admit it. On your birthday, you reflect on what you've achieved compared to your peers. If you have successful friends (oh, how we secretly hate them), then you're stung by feelings of inadequacy and fleeting moments of self-doubt.

Well, I believe each birthday unfolds greater treasures. So if you're facing an upcoming one with trepidation, think about how far you've come in life. And it's not about the car, the house or the job.

My boobs and butt may not be as perky as when I was 20, but I am far more aware of my strengths and talents, and don't need someone else's applause for validation. I don't have to seek approval from others.



PHOTO: Nobody said getting older was fun, but it does not have to be painful. The age-old adage that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure applies to the aging process very well, and if you take these measures you too can age gracefully.
http://www.womanarticles.net/wp-content/themes/scarlett/scarlett/images/valentine.png
http://www.womanarticles.net/fashion-and-beauty/512/staying-in-shape-over-40-what-you-need-to-know/


I'm even less interested in the opinions of people who don't matter or whom I don't respect. Meanwhile, I've also accepted my weaknesses and embraced some of them, like my impatient, hot temper and big hips.

I no longer rely on compliments to feel good. When they do come, I can accept compliments very comfortably and graciously. Also, I used to fret for days if anyone made snide remarks about my fat thighs or asymmetrical face. Now I don't get crushed when I hear an unkind remark about my appearance.

But I do get worked up if there are judgments about my intelligence. What's the point of more grey hairs if they aren't accompanied by more grey matter right?

In my 20s and even through most of my 30s, I relied on serendipity to point me in the right direction. Now, I have more clarity in what I want, in my career, my relationships and my lifestyle - and I'm less inclined to compromise on my values. I'm certainly more courageous and confident to stand up for my convictions and ignore the naysayers. I'm sure many of my peers feel the same courage, too.

I was quite broke even in my 30s, and used to have morbid thoughts about being old, poor and abandoned. I've gained more financial security since then, and as I'm more self-assured, I realise it's not necessary to surround myself with all kinds of expensive things to show that I've arrived. I'm happy to have just a few valuable items that actually do enhance my daily life.



PHOTO: Fairy-tale castle of Neuschwanstein.
"concept" dreams for the next castle - Falkenstein: (the plans were abandoned afer Ludwig's death in 1886)
http://lh4.ggpht.com/abramsv/R7vIXaoD5fI/AAAAAAAAI7g/foepuzoWByw/s800/5121212122.jpg
http://www.darkroastedblend.com/2008/02/dakar-truck-rally.html


When I used to get hurt and betrayed by people, I'd carry that baggage of disappointment around. Now, I can size up a person much faster and decide who is trustworthy. I also don't waste time mulling on negative things, unlike in my 20s when I would stew over injustices for years. Generally, I now just move on and focus on letting it go.

However, I think my ability for total forgiveness will come when I am really wise and mellow at 50.



PHOTO: WE, HAVE NOW COME FULL CIRCLE, WE ARE A BEGINNING AND THIS END
http://www.the-universal-link.com/fromorthon.htm


So instead of worrying about the saggy jowls, wrinkles and thickening waist, I'm looking forward to more adventures of self discovery. You are the treasure chest that is unlocked at each birthday that reveals your hidden gems.

And of course, there's always all that chocolate birthday cake and presents!

By Georgina Chang, georginac@mediacorp.com.sg, 05:55 AM Nov 20, 2010
The writer is the senior creative director of 987FM and Lush 99.5.




PHOTO: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
http://www.sierraexpressmedia.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/happy-birthday.jpg



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