Monday, October 3, 2011

Putting up a front? Best to be yourself

MY PAPER, TUESDAY, OCTOBER 4, 2011, PAGE A14, VIEWPOINTS
From http://epaper.mypaper.sg/cnd/fvxen/fvxp/fvxpress.php?param=2011-10-04
Source Website: -
By Geoff Tan



PHOTO: The Hidden Gate to Reality
http://www.haukeborow.org/wp-content/uploads/Auge.jpg
http://www.haukeborow.org/2009/11/the-hidden-gate-to-reality/



PHOTO: Geoff Tan
The writer is a senior vice-president of Singapore Press Holdings’ marketing division.
MY PAPER, TUESDAY, OCTOBER 4, 2011, PAGE A14, VIEWPOINTS


Recently I read a chapter in a book that dealt with the three images people have.

The author, John Bevere, elaborated on the images - the projected image, the perceived image and the actual image.



PHOTO: John & Lisa Bevere
http://www.soulalliance.com.au/uploads/john-lisa-full-profile.jpg
http://www.soulalliance.com.au/books-dvds/lisa-bevere-curriculums/54/


By definition, the projected image is how we portray ourselves based on the way we desire to be seen. The perceived image is how others see us, and the actual image is who we really are.

For many of us, the perceived image is of utmost importance. It seems that our reputation is more important than our true selves. This leads to us projecting ourselves the way we want to be seen.



PHOTO: The perceived image is of utmost importance. It seems that our reputation is more important than our true selves.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn2QQg-gMue5xL8VYjhJ7wPu0mIt3xXnEWNljxMKJbaha-hwsKFFkg1IXw80LaiJzfdzeau9DNrvhAJdqgJnWGvy-2vLKttdPr20jXEFM2vySxul2K5a5UI8aGCT7FG8gJ9idkWqil0fyN/s1600/text+projected.jpg
http://scarlettcasciellophotography.blogspot.com/


This behaviour could be attributed partially to our growing affluence, or it could be due to our cultural take on the issue of "saving face".

Much of our efforts tend to be focused on appearances, status, titles, accomplishments, accolades and possessions - so much so that we may put on a false front.



PHOTO: The actual image. Ensure that our projected image matches our perceived image.
http://www.adaringadventure.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/devil.jpg
http://www.adaringadventure.com/life-coaching/choice-isnt-always-a-good-thing/


Hence, the ideal situation is to ensure that our projected image matches our perceived image. Of course, this is much easier said than done.

For a start, the image we project is from our perspective. Some people call this the "I" point of view.

How others view us comes from a "we" perspective - a collective array of perceptions. This variety of perceptions stems, from the fact that the people we are in contact with come from all walks of life, engage with us in different circumstances and with whom we have different levels of relationships.



PHOTO: “FIGHT LIKE A GIRL”
Ideal situation is to ensure that our projected image matches our perceived image.
http://www.soulalliance.com.au/uploads/lisa-with-sword.jpg
http://www.soulalliance.com.au/books-dvds/lisa-bevere-curriculums/54/


What struck me when I was reading Bevere's book was that many people (myself included) have placed so much emphasis on our projected and perceived images that we forget to look at who we are.

Author Donna Davis once wrote: "Open your eyes to the beauty around you, open your mind to the wonders of life, open your heart to those who love you, and always be true to yourself."



PHOTO: Open your eyes to the beauty around you
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WNMqppeiQBU/TZxZRdzXQOI/AAAAAAAAA2w/F8dkiHLuFGU/s1600/Heaven_clouds_Wallpaper_4qzl2.jpg
http://www.muzic-world.com/John+Bevere/Wallpapers/


Wouldn't it be nice if we could be who we really are and align our actual image with our projected one? After all, both images are within our control.

However, I have friends who say that doing so makes them "transparent" and, in some cases, vulnerable.

Some of them blame it on the stereotypes tbat exist in society - for example, if you are a managing director, you must project a certain image.



PHOTO: Don't Impress, Be You
By Jasmine Yen
http://jasmineyen.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/1234768658_1024x768_sweet-couple-wallpaper.jpg
http://www.muzic-world.com/John+Bevere/Wallpapers/


I understand how difficult it can be to be true to ourselves and project our actual image at all times. But is it impossible?

I'd like to think that, despite the scrutiny which we are constantly subjected to, there are valid reasons for us to project our actual image and accept the consequences that come with it.
By Geoff Tan

The writer is a senior vice-president of Singapore Press Holdings' marketing division.



PHOTO: Difficult to be true to ourselves and project our actual image at all times
http://img1.liveinternet.ru/images/attach/c/3/77/781/77781161_279D1.JPG
http://www.liveinternet.ru/users/3232845/post182643474/comments



HELPDESK
我的字典: Wǒ de zì diǎn

Image: 形象 - xíng xiàng
Projecting: 展现 - zhǎn xiàn
False front: 假面 - jiǎ miàn
Vulnerable: 脆弱的 - cuì ruò de
True to ourselves: 忠于自己 - zhōng yú zì jǐ


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